October 2nd, 2008

4 DPIUI





This is definately proving to be the longest two weeks of my life.Every day is draaaaging on and on- and it doesn't help that I have nothing to keep me busy at work.Only 8 more days until I CAN test- but I may wait 11 days until I come back from DH's cousin's wedding in Massachusetts. I don't want to be sad for that if it ends up being BFN. I have this huge weight on my shoulders like a lot of people are waiting for me to test, and I don't want to let anyone down- especially DH. He has been so mushy with me lately, and I know he's hoping like crazy that i'm pregnant. Anyway- something is really irking me. Of course, it could just be me because I told my sister about it and her response was -so what? I think I would feel this way even if I WASN'T dealing with IF. There are a couple of girls (not naming names) who actually admit to being DISAPPOINTED when they find out the sex of their baby. They feel the need to "come to terms with it." I know they will love their child and become excited eventually- but how could they not be THRILLED with the little person they and their DH's created? Especially for their first child!? I would be over the moon with either sex- and I just don't understand how others aren't. It truly makes me sad. But enough ranting.At 4DPIUI, I feel a little "different". I know this could have EVERYTHING to do with the Ovidrel, but I feel little twinges in my belly. Perhaps I am just hypersensitive to twinges that were always there- but who knows? Maybe it's just my imagination TRYING to imagine the feeling of pregnancy, the way I remember it being last year- before I lost my angel. I don't know. Only time will tell, I suppose.To keep myself busy tonight I am going to the eye doctor, maybe cleaning my bathroom, watching one of the two movies I have from Netflix (I didn't watch Truman Show last night because a friend of mine came over- a better distraction, I think. Especially because I haven't told her anything), and making some pasta (YUM!)