The 35th week

Nursery is done, shower is on Saturday! I still have no inklings about whether the baby is a boy or a girl. I am getting verrry uncomfortable in these final weeks and I am definitely ready to get this baby out! Everything is still going wonderfully, we are just waiting now....

I've been a bad blogger....

I am now at 31 weeks, 2 days. Everything has been going VERY smoothly and I couldn't be more grateful. The high risk doctor told me that I will not be allowed to go past my due date due to the issues I had in the first trimester, therefore I will be induced at 39 weeks, if I do not go into labor on my own. I was a little sad to hear that because I was hoping to avoid an induction and go into labor when the baby is ready, but if that's the best way to go, then so be it.

I don't have many complaints. I feel pretty good, just very tired and I feel large and in charge. My ribs and feet hurt every night, but I guess that's par for the course. I am trying to just suck it up because I have less than 8 weeks to go! (I can't believe it!) Ryan and I are so excited for this baby and we are as ready (mentally) as we'll ever be. I personally can't wait to have my body back to myself! As much as I absolutely adore feeling this little person move around inside of me, i'm ready to have my energy and shape back. I have big plans for whipping myself into shape once this baby is out!

The nursery is pretty much done except for some accessories and everything from my shower, which is another thing I absolutely can't wait for!

I've been having some braxton hicks contractions and those are pretty cool. I know it's nothing like what the real thing will be (absolute, horrifying pain!), but it's fun to know that my body is preparing for labor.

That's about it for now. Here are some belly pics from this week!

31 weeks!

24 week high risk appointment

In the second trimester I have been going to the high risk doctor every few weeks to check the growth of the baby due to the complications with the huge blood clot in the beginning. I love it because it's basically a level 2 every few weeks.

So anyway- I go yesterday by myself for the first time because they always give mid-afternoon appointment times and hubby can't make them. My mom usually comes, but she forgot about it yesterday and I couldn't get in touch with her.

I go in and talk to the nurse, answer her questions, and pee in a cup. Then I go in for the sono. I was going to ask them to sneak a peek in 3D, but I chickened out because i'm a loser. The baby got really big and was moving around but being stubborn and she couldn't get the picture she wanted to she tilted me upside down and wiggled my belly. finally moved and she got what she needed. I also got to hear the heartbeat for a good five minutes.

After that was done I went in to see the doctor. I sat down and he asked me if I remembered what they were looking for each time I went for a sono. I said no, not really and he said they check for blood clots and that the baby is growing well. (Due to the blood clot, part of the placenta died and they are concerned the baby won't get the nutrients he/she needs and won't grow properly.)As he starts saying this I start panicking on the inside thinking he is going to tell me horrible news and of course this is the one time i'm alone.

But instead he says, "I just wanted to make sure you remembered because I know you will get a giggle out of this." He points the computer screen to me and on it is a fetal growth curve. There is a curve for babies measuring small, a curve for average and a curve for measuring large. Well, guess where my baby's line fell....?

That's right. is measuring about a millimeter ABOVE the large growth curve! This baby already weighs ONE pound and SEVEN ounces! At my OB appointment last week baby was weighing in at exactly a pound. So he/she gained 7 ounces in a week!

Dr. was laughing and said I guess we don't have to worry about this baby not growing enough right now! So I laughed and asked him if was measuring too LARGE instead and he said absolutely not- he is happy to see this baby big and strong ! So now instead of starting an every 2 week regime with them, I can continue with the 4 weeks and see how it goes. Of course, DH was over 10 pounds at birth and I was about 8.5 pounds, so I guess this baby will be following the trend!

I cannot even express how happy I am that this little angel is beating the odds. Nobody thought he would make it at the beginning and here we are now. I am so in love.

22 week belly pics

These are the first belly pics I have taken. Just thought I would share!

22 Weeks...

I had another doctor's appointment (reg OB) last night and this time I decided to bring my sister along for the show. I felt bad because while the doctor DID do a sono like usual, it was really quick and stinky. He didn't play the heartbeat and just did a couple of quick measurements and that was that. I didn't even get any pictures. Oh well.

So I am now 22 weeks and things are moving along swimmingly. I actually have a bit of a baby belly now instead of just looking chubby, and best of all- I have been feeling just the slightest bit of movement in there! The first time I felt it it actually felt like the baby did a flip in there. It was so weird. I haven't felt anything like that since then but have been feeling little taps here and there, or "flutters" as many people say. I actually wasn't expecting to feel anything for some time because I was diagnosed as having an anterior placenta, but I am pleasantly surprised! I cannot wait for people to be able to feel it from the outside. Especially hubby- he will be sooo excited!

The doctor really emphasized how lucky I am that this pregnancy stuck with all of the complications in the beginning. He said that everything looks perfect- absolutely perfect. Placenta and all. I could not be happier.

18 weeks left!

BTW: Baby measured in at exactly one pound!

The Level 2, and we're halfway there...

So Tuesday was the appointment for the much anticipated level 2 sonogram. It was the first sonogram at the high-risk doctor that DH would see, because they always schedule me for such inconvenient times.

Most people use this appointment to find out what the gender of their baby is. After alot of, "should we, shouldn't we," we ultimately decided once and for all that we will absolutely not find out, and wait for the surprise of a lifetime when this baby joins the world.

The actual purpose of the appointment is to make sure that the baby has all appropriate organs in place, to measure the head, lips, extremeties and to check for any markers for down syndrome. They also measure the amount of fluid and check the cervix.

Our little angel was a little stubborn and kept her hands in front of her face almost the whole time. The sono tech had to keep wiggling my belly, had me empty my bladder, wiggled around some more. I think the baby was sleeping, because she usually is jumping around like a little lunatic and this time she just wanted to be left alone.

So after the sonogram we met with the doctor. His exact words were, "everything looks AWESOME. I can't even use another word to describe it!" The hematoma is not even an issue as it's completely dissolved at this point. There were no markers for down syndrome. All the measurements were perfect. I could not have been happier. I finally feel like I can stop worrying (a little) and now just go with the flow, get things done that need to be done and wait for this munchkin to make his or her appearance!!! We are so excited and really cannot wait!


On a side note-I want to send a special congratulations to a friend, and throw tons of sticky dust her way!!!!!!! I'm praying everything continues to go well!

19 week OB appointment

Had our 19 week appointment last night. For the past few days I had been getting paranoid that something was going to be wrong because I STILL haven't felt the baby. I know it will probably be a few more weeks because I have anterior placenta- but COME ON. Don't you think I deserve to feel those first flutters and kicks earlier after all I have been through? At least so I can stop getting worried something is wrong??????

Anyways-
The baby is absolutely fine! We still didn't find out the sex and the baby was sucking its thumb and jumping all over. The doc was wiggling my belly saying, "hi baby!" and he/she actually waved at us! It was so adorable, I had tears in my eyes. Nice strong heartbeat and BIG feet!!! The foot was pushed up against my belly and we got a nice clear shot and it looked huge!

Hopefully soon I will be able to feel some kicks.

Level 2 on Tuesday!!

Genetic Sonogram- 17 weeks

Went to the doctor last night for my genetic sonogram. Baby was moving all over the place like crazy and I didn't even eat or drink anything sugary!

We saw an awesome picture of the spine, we saw the kidneys and brain, the stomach and bladder...it was awesome! Heart rate was 157. I didn't find out the sex and thought I may've seen a penis until the tech pointed out the umbilical cord !

The doctor said everything looks good, no seen chromosomal abnormalities...we are just awaiting the bloodwork but he said it should come back fine.

AND- the blood clot is completely gone and I am allowed to *lighten* the restrictions I have been on! He said not to go buck wild, but I can do light exercise, AND start slowly going back into a normal sex life (which I know DH will be against because he's terrified lol )So- all in all it was an awesome appointment and I am SO happy this baby is healthy! =)

16w3d

FINALLY had a doctor's appointment last night. I was nervous going in (as usual) but the baby was perfectly fine. Heart beating away at 130bpm and all measurements were right on schedule. I have to scan the new sono picture in later because I didn't have a chance to do it last night.

So the doctor was able to tell if the baby was a boy or a girl, and as I was laying there getting the sonogram done, the doctor asked us two or three times if we wanted to know babies sex.

Since DH and I have been changing our minds every other day about this particular moment- I decided that I would wait until the doctor asked to decide what I wanted to do.

I decided to wait. It was VERY hard to turn away that opportunity, but we managed to hold strong- told the doc NOT to tell us and we are going to wait 5 more months until this little babe is born!!!


Genetic sono is on Tuesday. Both mom AND dad are coming to that one- and my dad is VERY excited!

I'll update more then!

Ultrascreen Results...

We got the best results possible for the Ultrascreen. For both down syndrome and trisomy 13 & 18 we were 1/>10,000. WooHoo!!!! On the 24th I go back for a genetic sonogram to check for any abnormalities on the baby, and to get more blood work done for spina bifida and to redo the blood work for the other tests again so they can get a higher percentage.

I haven't been to the doctor in almost 2 weeks now. I go back (finally) next Thursday to the regular OB on the 19th. This waiting is absolute TORTURE!

We still don't know if we are gonna find out if the baby is a boy or a girl. I think we are both kind of torn. We can probably find out at next weeks appointment- I will be just over 16 weeks.

I watched a documentary from Netflix called, "In the Womb," with DH and my brother-in-law. DH loved it and was sooooo amazed. It was very, very sweet. His brother was kind of in shock, grossed out and amazed all at the same time. I asked DH the other day if he thought we scarred his brother for life by watching it while he was over and he told me that his brother wanted to come to the doctor with us last week after watching it, and was disappointed when he found out we were just meeting the genetic counselor! I was very suprised about that. He's really excited to be an uncle, I guess!

Just a quick update

Went to the doctor with hubby last Thurday night and my cervix looks perfect, baby looks good, but I have slight placenta previa. If it doesn't move- I will be having a c-section. Chances are good that it will move, though, since I am only just beginning the second trimester.

By the way- today makes 14 weeks!!! Yay!!!

12w6d- Ultrascreen

So, yesterday was my ultrascreen appointment at 12w6d.

*The Ultra-Screen is a First-trimester prenatal screening protocol designed to provide patient specific risk for Down Syndrome, trisomy 18 and other chromosomal abnormalities. Ultra-Screen® combines ultrasound measurement of the fluid accumulation behind the neck of the fetus (nuchal translucency) with maternal serum markers and is the earliest and most effective Down Syndrome screen available.*

My mom came with me, as she does to all of my high-risk appointments because DH has to work. We did the sono first, and the baby was so much bigger! We saw and heard the heartbeat- 140BPM, the baby was moving around like crazy and actually looked like a baby! It was so freakin cute!

After that they weighed me, did blood pressure, and did the finger prick for the blood test they send to the lab.

Then we met with the doctor. He said he had good news and really good news. The good news was that the blood clot was 1/4 of the size it was last week, almost completely gone. The really good news was that the sonogram portion of the ultrascreen was perfect, so that combined with my age means I should have no problem with the numerical results, either.

Today I am 13 weeks and feel like I can finally ease up on the worrying, especially now that heaven's newest angel is watching over me and this baby.

Life can be cruel sometimes.

Yesterday was definitely the saddest day in my life and in the lives of my family members.
My absolutely incredible 19 year old cousin passed away in her sleep a month short of her 20th birthday.

We weren't really as close in recent years as we had been when we were younger. It's not that we didn't want to be, we just had things going on. We were always laughing and joking when we were together and we had a good relationship.

I still cannot wrap my head around this. I feel like it's not really happening, like it's just a dream, but it won't go away. Everytime I close my eyes I can see her face, completely still, with the intubator tube in her mouth. I can feel her cool, stiff skin on my hand. As much as I regret going in to see her like that, i'm glad that I did. It will be the last time I ever get to see her looking like Lauren. When we see her at the wake, she will be caked in makeup and looking not like herself. It makes me feel sick to my stomach just thinking of her looking that way. I don't know how we will all be able to handle seeing her lying in a coffin. She was too young to die. She didn't get to live out her life. It's just so, so unfair.

I will never forget eating snow cones together on her swing set. I would always finish first and she would share the rest of hers with me. I will never forget overflowing the dishwasher into the kitchen and there was about 3 feet of bubbles everywhere that we tried to scoop up with spoons. I will never forget her sleeping over my house and her not letting me sleep because she always wanted to stay up all night when we had sleep overs, so I slept in my closet. I will never forget her hitting me in the head with hangars to wake me up when we were little. I will never forget her teasing me for being the corn server one thanksgiving for the needy. I will never forget when she made me french toast that was so disgusting it made my stomach turn just looking at it. I will never forget her being one of the first to call me when I had a miscarriage just to tell me she was sorry and she loved me. I will never forget how she always gave me a hug and told me she loved me whenever I saw her. I will never forget that she always said, "remember when..." and recounted many of these memories. I will never forget that her last Facebook message to me said "I miss you." I will never forget that I didn't get a chance to say it back.

Hers was the hand I held during my poppop's service and my aunt's service. She came to me and hugged me and held my hand so tightly. I can't believe I won't have her hand to hold this weekend.

My heart is breaking for her life cut too short. For her mom and dad who will truly never be the same. For the rest of us who never get to see her smile again. For me, for not having seen her in a month and a half, and not getting to tell her I love her. For my child who will never get to know her, and the amazing person she truly was.

I hope she knows how much we all loved her and how much she will be forever missed. Her absence has already formed a huge whole in our family and in all of our hearts.

Lauren, I know you are shining down on us from your place in heaven. Please help us all heal and overcome the tragedy of losing you. Please, somehow let you mom know you are okay.

I will love you forever.

Today's events.

For the past week or so I have felt alot of pinching where *I think* my cervix is, and today I have some light cramping, more to the left lower side. I have not had any bleeding or anything, so I am hoping this is normal- but have nothing to compare it to so I don't know if it is.Thank God I have a high risk appointment today for some reassurance, because I definitely would not be making it until next weeks OB appointment!!



UPDATE:

So I went into the sono room and the girl did an internal. At first She wasn't saying anything and it just looked like a mass of nothing on the screen and I began having mini heart attacks.

Then she moved the wand and I saw the baby. By this time I am an expert at finding the heartbeat on my own, and I did not see it. I had another heart attack.

I asked if everything looked okay and her response was, "are you seeing the doctor?" I told her yes and she says, "he will go over everything with you."

I nearly died right then and there.

For the next 5 minutes, she said nothing. Then she turned the speaker on and I heard the heart beat. 162 BPM. She said you can't get any better than that. I never felt more relief in my life. She pointed out the arms and legs- 2 of each (yay!). It was awesome.

Then we waited another hour to talk to the doctor. It was a different doctor than last time and this one was so, so much better. He said my incredibly enlarged ovary from the last appointment has gone down by half. He said the blood clot has gotten smaller and is "organized", meaning it is calcifying and will be reabsorbed into my body, and will probably be completely gone by my next appointment (yay again!). He also said that the pregnancy was progressing beautifully. I am measuring perfectly on schedule- 10w6d.

Now to wait until next week's appointment.

:::Major sigh of relief and happiness:::

I finally bit the dust...

And bought my first *baby-related* item. I will give it to DH as part of his birthday gift, since I will be 15 weeks then and that seems like a safe time to give a baby gift.

It is the Camo Diaper Dude- normally $117.00 and I got it for $22.95!!!

Today makes 10 weeks!

I went to the doctor on Monday night to check on the clot. The doctor said it was noticeably smaller, but still there and to expect more bleeding. I had more that night and it has pretty much tapered off since then.

He did both an internal and an external sono. During the external he showed us where the blood clot forced the placenta to separate from whatever it is attatched to. That part of the placenta has been rendered useless to the baby, and he said luckily, the baby attatched 100% directly opposite of that area. If it had been closer, or attatched where the placenta is separated, I would have miscarried already. I truly am lucky. This little peanut has the will to live!

Here is the 9w5d picture from Monday night. Boy has (s)he grown!!

Invisible Followers (& Hayley)...The clot has left the uterus! I hope...

I did several things differently this weekend that could've led to this event.

First of all- I had more activity in the past few days than in the last couple of weeks combined. Nothing strenuous- just out of the house and walking more than I have been.

I also ate spicy food on Friday night AND Saturday night.

Yesterday I had this weird feeling all afternoon/evening that I got punched in the gut. Not cramping- but just a tightness right below my ribs like I got the wind knocked out of me. I thought it was strange, but not concerning.

Last night DH and I fooled around (No intercourse) for the first time since I got pregnant. I usually don't let it get too far on my end- but everything happened pretty quickly (it's been awhile) and it was kind of an accident. I had the big *O*. So sorry for the TMI.

So anyway- this morning I wake up and go to the bathroom, and see that my pantyliner is full of dark brown blood. I pee- there's more in the toilet. I wipe- it's on the toilet paper. I shower- more comes out. I have been spotting brown blood off and on all day. Luckily I have a doctor's appointment tonight so I can make sure the baby is okay. I'm a little nervous- but not too worried because the high risk doctor told me to expect some dark bleeding.

I guess we will see tonight how everything is. Wish me tons of luck!

Oh where, Oh where has that blogger gone?

Oh where, Oh where could I be?



I'm sure no one missed me since no one looks! I've missed myself, though. I wish I would have caught up sooner because ALOT has been happening! First of all, here is the latest picture of my little peanut. It was done yesterday, at 8w6d. The date at the top is according to my LMP, which doesn't work since i'm pregnant through IVF. I am also measuring a few days ahead of schedule. You can kind of distinguish where the head is (the left side between the little dots) compared to the body.














So, there (s)he is! That picture was taken at the perinatologists office, where I was sent after almost a week of bedrest. Yep- that's what I said.

DH and I had an appointment at my regular OB's office last Thursday evening. He scared the bejesus out of both of us- telling me he wouldn't be walking around at all if he were me- just to bathroom and shower. Not even to work- where I sit at a desk all day. He said I have a very large subchorionic hematoma- which could eat away at the placenta. He told me no moving until Monday and to come back then. So that's what I did- and I was bored out of my mind.

On Monday the clot was no bigger, no smaller. He sent me to the perinatologist. I got an appointment for the very next day.

I signed in at the perinatologist and gave a urine sample. After about 1/2 an hour I was called in to start the process. First I was brought to an ultrasound room and had both an internal and an external sono done. This was the best part of my day. My mom and I (DH had to work) got to see the little arm and leg nubs, the heart beat, and best of all- I got to hear the heartbeat for the first time! It was very cool. My whole body just went numb. I could've listened to that sound for hours.

After all of the sonos were done, I sat in an office with another nurse who took my entire medical history down. Then the doctor came in. I could barely understand him with his accent, and he all I remember him saying is that all I can do is, "cross my fingers and hope for the best." I was not happy about that. I plan on speaking to my OB about it at the next appointment. They want me back every 2 weeks for the time being.

Oh what a (SCARY) night!

So Friday after work, DH and I had plans to go to dinner with my parents. We met them at a restaurant at about 8pm, and enjoyed a nice dinner.

Afterwards, we were going to go to a friends house for awhile. DH was dropping me off at our apartment to use the bathroom and change my clothes. He was going around the block to his mom's house to let the dogs out.

As I was getting out of the car, I coughed and felt a gush. I knew right away what it was.
I told DH- "I think i'm bleeding" and he said "you probably peed yourself," and laughed.
He left and I ran in the house, threw all my stuff on the floor and went in the bathroom. I pulled my pants down and sure enough, my panty liner and underwear was full of bright red blood. I freaked.

First I called DH to have him come back home. Then I called my parents panicking to them and hysterical. DH came home and after a few minutes- we left for the ER. I wanted to kill him because before we left he had to use the bathroom. Then we had to stop for gas. Like- could there be a more inconvenient time??

Anyway-we got to the hospital and my parents, sister and brother-in-law all met us there. I got signed in, my vitals were taken and I registered for insurance reasons. I only had to wait about 5 minutes before being taken to triage. I was brought into a gynecology exam room and changed into a gown. After about a half hour of complete disbelief, crying, losing hope, restoring hope, shivering, exhaustion and some more bleeding- a doctor came in to do the exam. He used a speculum and determined there was no blood in the cavity and my cervix was closed. He asked my history and what meds I was on.

He left and another man came in and took blood, put in a needle for the IV and then left again. After this I was brought to a curtained room in triage. So far everything seemed okay- but I still hadn't gotten a sonogram. After another 15 minutes or so of waiting- a woman came in to bring me to the sonography room. At this time I had another gush of blood and it was all over my legs and my hand. The sonographer gave me a wet paper towel and I wiped off my hand and cleaned myself up at best I could. Then- off we went.

She told DH that he couldn't come and he was really upset about that. I was, too, because if I was miscarrying- I was gonna need the support. I asked her to please let him come and she said he can walk over there and wait in the waiting room outside the room. I still wasn't happy with that but it was better than nothing.

We went in the room and she gave me this big cushion to put under my butt. Then it was time to find out where we were at. At first she didn't say anything at all. I finally asked if she saw anything and she said- "yes- the baby is fine." I cannot even describe the relief I felt at that moment. She let me see the screen even though she isn't supposed to, and the little heart was beating away. For the next half hour, while my poor husband was probably freaking out in the waiting room, she checked everything else out. She determined also that my cervix was closed and there was fluid in the cul-de-sac. (I learned later that is the area behind your uterus) She then gave me a wet towel to clean myself up better, gave me a new sheet since mine had blood on it, and wheeled me out. I gave DH the thumbs up and told him the baby was fine- and he ran off to tell everyone. He was soooo relieved.
I knew we weren't out of the woods yet, though, because the last time I miscarried I saw the heartbeat and then the next day it was gone. I still felt better, though.

After all of this, I had another pelvic exam done by the resident from my new OB's office- and he determined the same thing the other doctor did. All I had to do now was wait for the beta to come back, which finally did at about 3 in the morning. 67,000- very good. We left the hospital and got home at about 3:30 am.

5 hours later we were up and on our way to the RE's office for more bloodwork and another sonogram. The nurse did a pelvic exam and the sono. Pelvic exam showed a little bit of staining in the vagina but no active bleeding. Sono showed that the baby was still there- heartbeat still beating away. The nurse said there looked to be blood in the uterus, but hopefully is shouldn't affect the baby- but I should expect to have more bleeding. Needless to say I am relieved- and terrified. I am so afraid of losing this baby.

The nurse called later on and my beta was 20,000 higher than 8-9 hours before, which is good, and the RE switched me from progesterone suppositories to PIO injections. Not fun- but i'm willing to do anything.

I spent the rest of the weekend barely moving off of the couch, and the bleeding has stopped almost completely, with just a brown smidge here and there. That I can handle. I haven't really had any cramping except for the occasional one, and this morning I woke up with cramps, but I think they were stomach cramps. Sadly, I can't tell the difference anymore. They have been coming and going, so I am praying they don't mean anything.

Tomorrow is my first OB appointment. I'm hoping beyond hope that everything is still okay.

Ouch!

I am hurting today! My sciatic nerve is absolutely torturing me! Not too much I can do about it, though.

I can't wait for Tuesday. I really wish I had a fast forward button to zoom through the work week. I just want to know that everything is still okay. I'm tired of being nervous all the time. 5 more weeks until I feel better- until I feel I am outta the red zone.

So far no spotting or cramping- just the occasional AF cramp, but I know those are to be expected.

I still have no symptoms. That's kind of annoying.

My biggest fear is that I will have the sono done on Tuesday, and there will be no heart beat. I am trying not to think of that because I will give myself a stroke, but it's in the back of my mind.

Anyway- I am just being redundant so that's all for now.

I will update on Tuesday.

I am already in love...<3

Probably not wise to get attached so soon seeing as i've miscarried before, but I just can't help myself.

As you probably guessed- everything went very well at the sono appointment yesterday. Baby is measuring perfectly, her tiny heart beating away. It is incredible.

The RE released me to my OB, and I have my first appointment on Tuesday, January 20th. I will be 7 weeks, 3 days. I have never been to this OB before. I decided my old doc is not up to my standards and I need to start fresh- everything new. This new doctor was recommended and is apparently capable and deals with people who have issues and not every patient has a picture perfect situation. I can't wait to go and see my little bugaboo again. Hopefully everything will go smoothly until then.

In the meantime- here's the babe!

Today is finally the day.

My first sonogram is today at 3:45pm. I am very excited and very nervous all at the same time. I am praying like crazy for a strong, healthy pregnancy. So far, so good. Today we will hopefully see the heartbeat (or heartbeatS) and I can rest easy for a couple of days again. I can't wait.

On Saturday night DH talked to my belly for the first time. Obviously there is no big belly to talk to (I am only 6 weeks), but it was very sweet. He tapped my belly and said, "Hey!"

That was it. =)

I think he is finally letting himself get excited about all of this. After the miscarriage last year, he really has had his guard up this time around- as have I. We still have 6 weeks to go until I will feel we are out of the woods, but I have faith.

Waiting sucks.

I just want it to be Monday so I can see my little mashoogina and know that everything is okay for another week. The first trimester is so nerve-wracking, especially since week #8 has a stigma to it, seeing as that's the week I lost my first angel. I just want it to be past that week. Past the first trimester. I am so ready for this adventure and I am so afraid of it being taken away again.

What I wish...

* I wish it was Monday at 3:45 so I can see my little babe(s).

* I wish my sciatic nerve didn't feel like it is breaking in half everytime I move.

* I wish I could get through this pregnancy without freaking out one week at a time until I get to go to the doctor again.

* I wish I had some form of normal symptoms. Maybe some morning sickness, sore boobs, pure exhaustion...anything.

* I wish I had the nerve to buy a pregnancy journal to start documenting this journey, but I am terrified it will jinx me.

* I wish I didn't have to worry about where I am going to live after May.

* I wish I could go home and go to bed.

* I wish I could be guaranteed no stretch marks!

Yippeee!

BETA #2 = 4,277!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so, so happy =)

On another note, I get to stop taking the Metformin, Progesterone on 1X per day! That makes me happy as well. That is SIX less pills I have to worry about remembering to take everyday. Yay!!

Beta Day #2

I went this morning for BW to check to make sure my HCG has doubled every 48 hours since Monday. The number should be at around 2600.
In one instant I feel like everything is going to be absolutely fine. In another instant, my stomach turns and I feel like I am just waiting for the bad news. I can't wait until they call.

I have been feeling absolutely fine. I still have no symptoms. My boobs aren't sore, no exhaustion, no morning sickness. Nothing. It's really, really annoying. I wish I would feel SOMETHING already. Just so I know everything is fine.

The next 7 weeks are going to be h.e.l.l.