October 20th, 2008

So, I spoke to my dad before, and he told me that the hospice nurse said she's gives my grandfather another 12 hours until he passes. So now- my sister and I are just waiting for the dreaded call. We were discussing it today, and decided that although we know it's coming, we still will not be prepared when it does.I hate not being there to say goodbye. I was there everyday for a month when my other grandfather was in the hospital before he passed away. I was there for my aunt who passed away one year ago today. I just feel like I SHOULD be there. And it is so hard thinking that it's better off that i'm not. It always surprises me when I hear my dad with sadness in his voice- and I can tell he's been crying. He is by no means *strong as an ox* or anything like that. In fact- he's a big mush with many emotions. It is just a sad feeling knowing that there is nothing I can do to make him feel better, the way he's done for me so many times over the years. I pray that my grandfather slips away with no pain. I love you grandpa.