October 16th, 2008

CD 3




So- I went to get my CD3 monitoring done bright and early this morning. The result was not a happy one. I was pretty excited to start all over again with a fresh -and hopefully successful- cycle. Unfortunately, my life blows, and nothing works how I want it to. Apparently, I still have 5 huge cysts and enlarged ovaries. Lucky me. I was instructed to do no exercise and no jumping or dancing around for at least a month. I call with the next CD1 and re-check the cysts. If they have gone done, we can begin. If not- then we wait some more. If AF does not show- then I wait 30 days, then call and start Provera. No- November 12th it is, because AF NEVER comes unless formally invited by a huge dose of hormones. That biotch.

So- of course when I text messaged DH on my way to work to report that I officially hated my body- and that I was still at risk of twisting an ovary so I reported my instructions to him.

His response? "Oh $hit- no dancing? That sux."

This is his response to his wife- who probably dances-only when she is drunk enough- maybe 3 times a year. So, the saddest part of all of this- to him- is that he will not see me dancing around the apartment anytime soon.

Everyone keeps telling me that it will happen. And stupidly, I keep believing them. Month after month I have renwed hope, and month after month the crap gets thrown in my face again. Sounds gross- but that's how it seems. Although, this "break" I guess could not have come at a better time. My grandfather down in North Carolina has been very sick. He was recently sent home from the hospital and hospice is being sent in. I pray that he will be alright- but I am also realistic. If something happens to him anytime soon, I will be sad enough without the burden of monitoring 6 times a week and timing IUIs and such. So- I suppose that is the silver lining- even though it all stinks. I feel awful for my dad. It's unfortunate that my grandfather moved away years ago. Now it is so difficult to go see him because it's so expensive. My dad is going to see him this weekend and it is $500.00 per ticket! That is just insane. But what can ya do?On a lighter note- since I am on a *30* day hiatus from TTC- my blog will have to be the ramblings of my daily life. Hope you all enjoy!