My 2 options were as follows:
1. Try Letrozole this next cycle, which will give me similar side effects as Clomid- dizziness, major mood swings, hot flashes, night sweats. This drug gives me a 15% chance of getting pregnant.
* The pros- putting the costs of IVF off, as well as all of the overwhelming instructions, medications and so on and so forth.
* The cons- If it doesn't work- it is one more month wasted.
2. Suck it up...and start the necessary procedures for starting a cycle. This gives me a 50-60% chance of getting pregnant.
Can you guess which I chose? Yup...Choice #2.
The doc says it will be safer, more efficient and if I get approved for the grant- pretty cheap considering what it could be.
So, if I get approved, I will start up on the pill and this new journey will begin.
My mom asked me if this was good news or bad news. I said good news because my cysts are gone and I know what I have to move forward with. Bad news because I just cannot wrap my head around the idea that I GOT PREGNANT ONCE ON MY OWN and now, I need to go to such great lengths. I can't believe it has come to this.
Last night I went to the Olive Garden with DH and his mom, aunt, brother's and one of the girlfriends. There was this little blonde girl sitting in a stroller at the table across from us, whimpering because her mother wasn't giving her food fast enough. I glanced at DH and he was just staring with this look in his eyes that I can't even describe. It was only for a moment, but for that one moment, I felt more like a failure than ever because I know DH wants a baby as bad as I do, and it kills me that I am having so much trouble making that possible.
Anyway- that's all for now. It's just a waiting game to see if I am approved for this grant. If not- it's back to the drawing board.
